Sins Of Thy Fathers
by Athena356
Summary: Kids of the Cook County staff(past and present) tell their stories, their ways....Please r/r!
1. Ella Greene

AN:I don't own Ella, Rachel, Mark or Elizbeth, TPTB do..Ella's classmates are mine, but eh, no biggie...just please r/r~~Thena..and if you must know, it is finals time, so be patient with the chapters...i'll get to it soon!   
  
  
Mummy doesn't talk about Daddy a lot. I asked her where Daddy was and she said he went to Heaven. She cries about him a lot. I want to visit him in Heaven, and tell him to come home. Mummy's sad without him.   
  
At my new school, we had family day. I just started kindergarten. It's a lot bigger than my nursery school. Family day was yesterday. Mummy called the hospital and told that mean Dr. Romano that she couldn't come, just for me. I don't like him. He told her she had to come for a big fancy operation. I don't remember what it was called, but Mummy told him that she was spending the day with me. We had a big picnic on the soccer field. We have gym there usually. It was nice and sunny. There were sandwiches and cookies. Everyone brought something different, and Mummy made a big cake with me. Everyone liked it and they ate it all. Mummy couldn't believe how nice it was out. She says it always rains in England. Everyone says I look just like Mummy, but I don't think so. We just have the same hair. I think people don't want to mention how much I look like Daddy because Mummy will cry. Mummy has a nice accent, and everyone says I sound like her. I think so too. I wonder if Daddy was British. I like my accent. I wonder what Daddy sounded like.   
  
I got to sit with my friends Lillie and Cara at the picnic. They had their mums and dads with them. Everyone except for me and Joey had their mums and dads there. Joey's grandmother came with him because his mum and dad couldn't get off from work. Not like my mummy. I don't remember Daddy...I was very little when he went to heaven. Rachel says he died. When I asked her what that meant, she said it means he went to heaven. She said I was one when he died. I want my daddy back. I told Mummy I wanted Daddy to come back, and she said she did too. But she said he couldn't come back. Daddy used to work with Mummy at the hospital, and all of Mummy's friends too. Mummy lets me stay with the doctors and nurses sometimes. She doesn't like it when I have to stay with Randi, but I do. She polishes my nails pretty colors and lets me answer the phone. Mummy's friend John tells me stories about daddy a lot. He's fun because he takes me to see the little girls my age, and lets me sit with them. Mummy yelled at him once, but she lets him now. I wish Daddy was alive. He'd let me see the other girls too. John told me he let Rachel sometimes. John always tells me the truth, and he tells me about Daddy too. He's fun. I wish Daddy could come back from heaven. Mummy cries if I talk about him, but I want to be a wholem family again. Rachel is moving to Chicago, and Mummy is the best Mummy in the whole world. I love them both, but I want Daddy back. Everyone else has a daddy...except me.


	2. Alyson Kovac

AN:Part 2, I don't own recognizable characters, TPTB do..Aly and Daniel are all mine, so keep your hands off 'em!:-P...hehe, enjoy!~~~Thena  
  
  
I heard Mom and Dad talking last night. They thought I was in bed. I went downstairs for a glass of milk...they always said milk was good for my bones, and I still listen, even after disreguarding most of the other things they tell me...and they were in the den.  
  
Mom took me to work with her yesterday. I had off from school. I got to see all of mom's friends again..it's been a while...since I started High School...they're all pretty cool. She told them to treat me like a patient, and Dave...he's the craziest...took my blood and made me wear a hospital gown..mom was just kidding though...she got mad when Dave wanted to take X-rays. Yelled something about wasting money. Mom and Dad worry about money a lot.   
  
That's why they were fighting last night. Dad told Mom that my medication is too expensive and we can't afford it. I have to take 2 pills each day, one for my athsma, and one for...well, Mom said it was a vitamin, but she has them in a prescription bottle. Says she got them at work, but I was only 8 when she told me that...I don't really believe her anymore. I don't want to ask her though...there's got to be a reason she's not telling me. I hate not knowing, but I trust Mom.  
  
Dad wanted Mom to get the pills from work. I know that's a big no-no. She asked him why he didn't do it, and he muttered something about it not being his fault. That made Mom cry, and she replied that it was no one's fault. Dad said, "Tell Daniel that!" and Mom cried harder.   
  
I had no idea who Daniel was, he didn't work with Mom and Dad anyway. He seems to upset Mom though. Dad apologized to her, and she said she was going to make coffee. I tried to get out of the kitchen before she saw me, but she caught me on the stairs.   
  
_ "Aly?"  
  
"Mom...I was getting milk."  
  
"You OK?"  
  
"Yeah Mom."   
  
"How much did you hear?"  
  
"Mom..."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"Enough."   
  
"Aly, don't worry about the money."  
  
"K Mom."  
  
"And your dad and I are fine...I don't want you to worry, really."  
  
"It's getting late, Mom. You'd better make that coffee decaf." I grinned and started back up the stairs.  
  
"Aly, wait."  
  
"Yeah Mom?"  
  
"I need to talk to you."  
  
"K, I'm listening."  
  
"Come, sit."   
  
"Mom, you sound serious."  
  
This is pretty serious.."  
  
"OK. Go on, tell me. Please."   
  
"Aly, you remember your grandma, Maggie, right?"  
  
"Yeah. She was sick, but you wouldn't tell me what was wrong with her. Is she OK?"  
  
"Yeah, but um...no...she has a problem, Aly. She's bipolar. That means she..."  
  
"I know what it means. Manic periods followed by deep depression. I...I asked John Carter about Grandma. Told him she was sick again..."  
  
"Got him to talk, eh?"  
  
"He didn't mean to give up any secrets. He wouldn't tell on purpose, Mom. I made him." I felt like a child justifying my actions.   
  
"It's OK...he always looks out for you. For all of us."  
  
"So what about Maggie? Is she getting worse? Do you have to go see her?"  
  
"No, Aly, hon, it's...genetic, and I'm a carrier, and..."  
  
"Yeah, but it's X-linked and recessive." I had asked John to explain it all. "And Dad's not bipolar..is he?" The thought that Dad could be sick and I didn't know frightened me.   
  
"No Aly, Luka's not bipolar..." _Mom never called Dad Luka. I looked at her and then it hit me. Like a slap in the face. The glass of milk slipped from my hand, shattering on the tiled floor. Barefoot but not caring, I stepped through the clear blue shards and the puddle of milk. I could faintly feel the glass pushing its way into the soles of my feet as I backed away from Mom.   
  
"Aly! Aly! You're getting glass in your feet! Aly, stop it, come on, Aly, let me clean this up, don't move, let me get a broom...Aly, you're getting glass in your feet." Mom spoke with a quiet desperation, then trailed off, sobbing. She bent down and started picking up slivers of glass, their sharp edges gleaming in the light. Blood poured slowly out of the tiny cuts on her pale hands.   
  
"Mom...stop it...Mom...I'm not...I don't care...God Mom, will you just stop! I won't care if you just stop...you're cutting yourself, Mom." I snapped out of my shocked and angry state, seeing that it was upsetting her, seeing what she was doing...seeing that she didn't feel the pain.   
  
Dad...Luka..appeared at the door, coming behind Mom. "Abby, stop. You're hurting yourself." His heavy accent echoed through the kitchen. Almost 20 years in Chicago and Mom says his accent hasn't faded a bit. She looked up at him, palms dripping. "Alyson, get a..." He stopped when he saw my bloody bare feet, then stepped over the glass and got 2 dishtowels from near the sink. He wet them with warm water and handed one to me.  
  
"Sit down, Alyson. Put this on your feet." I did as he said, feeling like I was barely controlling my body. Like a puppeteer was pulling my body along on strings. I tried to stop the blood, but I couldn't even feel it flowing quickly now out of my feet and soaking the dishtowel.   
  
Dad lifted Mom up to a standing position. She held out her hands to him, seeing for the first time the rivulets of blood pouring from her cuts. He placed the towel over her palms and pressed them together to keep pressure on the wounds.   
  
"Alyson, we need to get you both to the hospital. I'm going to carry you out to the car now." He placed a hand on my shoulder and I flinched, but let him lift me.   
  
I pointed to the mess on the floor and he shook his head. "I'll get it when we come home. Your mother has very deep cuts. I need to get you both to the hospital right now." Dad lifted me into the car as if I were a baby, no small feat, as I am 15. But he lifted Mom into the car as well, and sat behind the wheel, face set in stone, driving through the dark night it by the few streetlights. Mom and I sat silently as well. There was nothing to say. Nothing could change this. Nothing.   
  
  
AN(again):hey, hope you liked it, this one will have a sequel...i promise...up next: Alyson Kovac part 2~~~Thena


	3. Alyson Kovac 2

AN:I know, blame my finals studying, not me....it took a while. OK, can we just say for the rest of the fic, if you recognize them from the show, then I don't own em? OK? good.   
  
  
My cuts are healing. Mom and I are all wrapped up in bandages. Those pills I've been taking all my life were vitamins after all. Mom switched to a low dosage of bipolar medication a few weeks ago. She was scared to tell me. About my dad, that Luka wasn't my birth father, that she had cheated...She thinks it's her fault I'm bipolar. It is, I guess, genetically speaking, but I don't care. She's a good mom, but I can't believe she lied to me. They both lied to me. I'm going to visit Maggie when the bandages come off. Mom would never let me before. It's her birthday in a month, and we're going up to see her. I feel like I need to. Mom told me Daniel died. He stopped taking his meds and got depressed, and he jumped off of an overpass. It's just as well I never met him, I'd probably just be mad at him. Never thought I looked like Mom or Dad. Guess I look like Daniel.   
  
They called psych on Mom last night. She was just in shock though. My mom's not crazy...just Grandma Maggie and I are. Maggie and Aly, the bipolar freaks of the family.   
  
I called John Carter down to my room. I have his pager number. He's the only one who would tell me the truth.   
  
"Hey Als, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Alright...can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure."   
  
"John, I'm....Mom...Abby just told me I'm bipolar."   
  
He nodded.  
  
"You knew?"  
  
He nodded again.   
  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Not my place to..."  
  
"Cut the cr*p."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You told me about Maggie. Why not me?"  
  
"Als, come on..." I turned away from him. "AlyKat, talk to me...I'm sorry." Nicknames. John loved to make up crazy nicknames. He was almost 50...getting too old to try to be my buddy.   
  
"You lied to me."  
  
"I wanted to tell you."  
  
"John, I'm 15, not stupid."  
  
"So act 15." he snapped, walking to the door. "You're bipolar, people lied to you. Deal with it instead of whining. Take your medication so you don't end up like your grandmother. God knows Abby doesn't need that."  
  
I'd never seen John yell. Never even seen him mad. He was always so sweet...and he was leaving me alone. "Wait! John...don't um....don't go. Can you tell me...about Maggie?"  
  
"Aren't you mad at me, Alyson? Don't you hate me for lying?" His sarcasm was scaring me. I thought he might really leave me. And he never called me Alyson. Never.  
  
"John...you..I..."  
  
"What do you want to know?" He sighed.  
  
"What do you mean, end up like her? I am like her, John."  
  
He shook his head. "Maggie didn't take her medication..she said the Lithium made her sick...Abby had to keep an eye on her. Always. I know Abby didn't tell you, but your grandmother didn't like to take care of her. Your parents are paying to keep her in a facility in Minnesota, trying to keep her safe. So just....don't end up like her. Your mom can't handle it all over again."   
  
"I wouldn't do that!" I snapped. "I don't want to be crazy!"  
  
He walked over to my bed. "Als, you're not crazy."  
  
"We're all a little crazy, John. Every one of us. Just look at us! Mom cheating on Dad with some bipolar guy, Dad, his nightmares about Croatia, the war....You, I know about the attack. Your back still hurts sometimes, doesn't it? Phantom pains. The drugs..."  
  
"Shut up! You don't know! these things...the war, the attack...you never get over them. ever. God, you get your cynicism from your mother." He wasn't angry as much as defensive and...terrified.  
  
"And then there's me. Nuts. We're all crazy and we all deny it, but we get one step closer to dying every second, and denying it won't help."  
  
"Don't be such a cynic, Als. You do remind me of your mom...back before she married your dad."  
  
"What do I do, John? Why shouldn't I be cynical?"  
  
"Take your lithium. You'll be fine, I promise." John smiled as his pager went off. "Damn, gotta go. See you later."  
  
"Bye John...sorry...for what I..."  
  
"It's OK." With that, he left me, obviously glad to go.   
  
Mom gave me a photo of Daniel. He looks just like me. But still, Luka...Dad...is a good father. Mom made a mistake...a big one. And everyone lied about it too. But what can I do? Like John said, 'deal with it'. I'll always wonder what Daniel was like, but I won't find out. I could get mad and fight with them all, but what's the point? Without them, I'm all alone. Everyone's getting one step closer to dying, but what good does it do to count the days? I don't know, but sometimes I catch myself anyway counting the steps.


	4. Rachel Greene-Simon

AN: Hey guys, I was checkin up on reviews and I realized I owe you a chap! So here it comes....enjoy and PLEASE! review:)~~~Thena  
  
And Rach's last name comes from info on Craig's last name I got from digiserve.com/er, so if it's wrong, :-P!  
  
  
I didn't get to see Dad as often as I would have liked to. Even when I was with him, he took me to work a lot. I'd spend hours in the lounge, or at the desk with Jerry. It wasn't his fault, and I loved being at work with him. Back then all I wanted to do was have him come to my soccer games and bring me ice skating. Mom kept me from him. No one will say it out loud, but it's pretty obvious. She thought he was too busy for us, and that he would have to pay for never being there. Mom can be vicious. It's what makes her good at what she does, I know that. But it doesn't mean I like it. She's always sweet and wonderful with me, and Craig too. Our dogs, my little brother...it's like a whole different world. Nothing like when I was little. I could hear them fighting, but I never told them I could. They didn't know that I fell asleep to the sounds of screaming, or that I had to sleep with a pillow over my ears to block it all out. It wasn't their fault, they just weren't meant to be is all.  
  
Mom wanted me to stay with her, be her little girl. She turned me against dad, and I didn't realize it until it was too late. She'd tell me that he was never around when I was little and she'd idolize Craig, she just wanted me to hate dad. Like she did. She hated him because he hurt her, and because he hurt me. But he didn't hurt me as much as she did. I hate to say it, I love my mom and all, but she kept me from him, even when he was dying. She didn't want me to see him die, so when she let me visit him, she took me home before he went into the hospital. Before he was really about to die. I didn't want to go, I was old enough to make that choice. But mom didn't think so. And so I was whisked off into happy-land, where we were a family with Rachel, Jennifer, Mark, Stevey, Fuzzy and Curly. 2 adults, 2 children, 2 dogs. 3 females and 3 males. It was all proportional, all balanced and the way it should be. Only I was off balance, having 4 adults, (Mom, Dad, Craig, and Elizabeth), 3 children (Rach, Stevey and Ella), and 2 dogs (Fluffy and Curly). 5 females and 4 males. Nothing in my life was proportional or equal. It was all skewed, and I wasn't allowed to strike a balance. Not that I cared then, but by the time Ella was born, my 2 families needed balance. Dad was remarried and so was Mom, I had a sister now. I'd always wanted a sister, and Stevey was only a little older than Ella. I wanted to be there for Dad, I wanted to see Elizabeth. I wanted to be there when my grandfather died, when Dad was diagnosed with cancer and having surgery. Mom took it all away from me. Instead, I was there for Craig's mother's 80th birthday, Stevey's birth, Mom's big promotion...nothing that would compare to more memories with Dad.   
  
Mom and Craig gave me a wonderful life, almost everything I wanted and needed. Except Dad. And when it was too late, and I didn't have Dad anymore, all I wanted was to see him again. I got a call from John Carter, telling Mom. She was out, and I was watching Stevey. (OK, his name's Steven, but that's too formal for a little kid.) And John didn't want to tell me, but I made him, and then I couldn't do anything until Mom came home. She left Stevey with Craig, who couldn't get off work. She told him she didn't want to send me alone. Mom would never admit it, but she came to the funeral. Elizabeth had me sit up with her, proclaiming me family and therefore worthy of the seat closest to my father's body. An odd concept, really. And when I turned to look at all of Dad's friends, I saw Mom in the back pew, and she was crying. She missed him. She's never say so, she's built up a new life, and she left him. But I wonder if all this time, she's wanted him back. Sometimes it seems that way. Elizabeth thanked me for coming, for sitting with her, for holding Ella during the ceremony. For holding her hand through it all when there was no one else to hold her hand, because that was the reason we were all here. I missed the dad I thought I knew, the Dad from the days of soccer leagues and birthday sleepovers, of movie star infatuations and bedtime stories. She knew him better than I ever did, she knew everything about him, she had his child. But I had to thank her for helping me when my own family tried desperately to seem so unfazed.   
  
Now it's 5 females, 3 males. 3 adults, 3 children, and 2 pets. Nothing is balanced anymore, and I feel myself starting to tip over from it all. And there's no link anymore. Dad was the only connection I had to Chicago, to anything there. And now my life is spinning in two directions, opposite ends of the universe. And I'm being pulled to one side, like it or not, the heavier side. But I feel like I've got one foot on each side and I'm being ripped apart, one side of me spinning endlessly towards St. Louis and the other flying towards Chicago. We'll see which part arrives first, and in which part my heart resides. And that's where I'll go.


	5. Reese Benton

OK, I figured I'd write a lot before I went away. Thanks to KitLee for not only helping me decide which chap to write next, but giving me a few great ideas to get me started! enjoy and review!!!!~~~~Thena  
  
It's hard to be different. But it's harder *not* to be different. You'd think that I'd be an outcast, or have no friends because I can't hear. But no. Dad's made sure I got into the best schools for "hearing impaired" children. No one likes to say deaf. They think it'll bother me or something. What bothers me is the way they avoid it, like I'm some fragile little thing who can't handle real life.   
  
My dad...he's different. He just tells me I need to work twice as hard to prove to everyone that I'm just as good as they are. I can hear a little bit, but he thinks I can't hear him with Cleo. They talk about me, and he talks about my mom and Roger. My mom died when I was three and a half, in a car accident. Dad and Cleo got custody of me, and I haven't seen much of Roger since. He sends cards, and my dad used to give them to me, but lately I've been having him throw them out. I just don't want to know anymore.   
  
Cleo's a pediatrician, and I liked her a lot better when I was little. She can't deal with teenagers, which is why she likes my little brother Nate, he's only 4. I'm 16. Nate's Cleo's little baby, she thinks he's so wonderful because he's just a little kid. He's still amused by her little games and picture books. And he's her kid, not just her stepson. I know she loves me anyway, in her odd sort of way. I can't even talk to him, since he's so bad at signing, he's so young he won't sit still to learn. He can hear, and I know he can scream, because I can hear him, and I barely hear anything. The hearing aids help, but I don't love wearing them. At least they're smaller than they used to be. Aunt Jackie told me Dad sometimes took them off in pictures because they were so huge when I was little.   
  
Jackie's like my mother, really. She watches out for me, even though she's got plenty of kids of her own to look after. They're all older, though. She emails me all the time, and Dad even got me my own laptop so I can keep in touch with everyone. I check my email a lot, just like checking the phone messages, in a way. It's where Dad and Cleo send everything I need to know. I feel like there's nothing so different about me anymore, because everyone uses the internet. It wasn't like that as much when I was little. And now the technology is better, I can hear a little more, and I'm getting a new hearing aid next week that's supposed to make my hearing almost normal. So I guess what it is about being deaf now...I don't feel like it's a big thing. Sometimes I can't understand, and I need to grab a handy notebook and pen from a backpack so someone can write to me what they need to tell me. But that's the extent of my problems, really. So why does everyone care so much that I'm deaf?  
  
Everyone wants something special about themselves. Mine used to be that I was deaf. Now, with all this technology....I can't seem to find it anymore.


End file.
